Dealing with Fear? We all need a little love….

This is the third post regarding this topic.  Using the 1 Corinthians model of “what’s important in life”, I’ve learned to apply those concepts to dealing with the fears that life brings us. 

Fear is closely related to worry.  “Worry is a cycle of inefficient thoughts whirling around a center of fear.  Worry doesn’t empty tomorrow of sorrow, it empties today of its strength”, according to Corrie Ten Boom, Holocaust Survivor

When you are dealing with fear, such as that caused by the loss of a job, you have to recognize that one of the most important things you need is a loving, supportive group of family and friends. 

Trying to get through tough times on your own is the worst of all approaches.  It’s really common for those of us of the “male persuasion” to try to muscle up and take things on “like a man” and suffer through the tough times.  But the truth is, we all need support.

But beware, it’s difficult to build this support system when you are in the frays of dealing with a problem.  Therefore, it’s important to build this before you face the need.  And, since you never know when you are going to hit a rocky spot, you need to begin now! 

The key to building your support system is to build your personal and professional network.  Fortunately, there are many tools today to help you do this.  Social networking tools, like Linked In and Facebook, are great ways to help build a record of your network.  But remember that it doesn’t stop at the keyboard.  A true network is comprised of both in-person and virtual relationships.

Last year when I was out of work, I made it a personal goal to network with at least two people per week on an individual basis.  I also tried to attend at least two networking functions per week.  Add that to the online networking I was doing, and I was building a network that not only helped get me through the rough times, but many of whom are still part of my network today.

So, my advice to everyone is to cultivate and grow your personal network.  There’s no better time than today.  Then, when you need them, they’ll be there.

Dealing with Worry? Hope, Hope, Hurray!

In my last post I talked about the need to have faith to get through the challenges in life.  Worries and fear are inevitable, but how we deal with them is entirely up to us.

Using the 1 Corinthians 13 model, I am proposing an age-old solution for getting through the rough spots.  After you have faith, the next item in the recipe is hope.  In the Old Testament, Jeremiah was faced with some pretty tough times.  How did he survive?  He turned his eyes on God, he kept the faith, and he held fast to hope.  He wrote “The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him”.

Hope is a wonderful tool.  Hope springs eternal, we say.  Hope is all about having an optimistic attitude.  You don’t have to be a Christian to have hope.  We can all hope for a better job, a better lifestyle, or for even that perfect someone to come along.

When we’re facing tough times, faith is the first thing you need.  You need to find something to believe in.  That’s your rock.  That’s what you hold on to.  But once you have that established, you need to turn your thoughts to the future.

Imagine a better place, a better way, a better job.  Having hope is all about picturing yourself where you want to be, not where you are.

If you do this, you’ll find yourself thinking about yourself in that situation.  In this way you are positioning yourself in your mind for that better situation.  It’s a great way to get your mindset right for that new job or opportunity. 

So, have a little faith, and then hope, hope hurray.

Dealing with Worry? You Gotta Have Faith!

Dealing with fear and worry is an every day issue. You can’t avoid them. But what you can do is learn how to deal with them and overcome the paralyzing effect they can have on you.

Let’s first define fear and worry. While they are almost used interchangeably, there is a difference. Fear is an automatic reaction to some event. A rabid dog or a deer jumping in front of your car should instigate fear. In this way, fear is not altogether bad. When used properly, it can protect you.

Worry, on the other hand, is a choice. Francis Chan defines worry in his book Crazy Love”, Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives.”

The Bible actually gives us a  model on how to deal with worry that will work in any situation.  1 Corinthians 13 is often referred to as the “Chapter of Love” and is popularly used in weddings.  The famous ending of the chapter is “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

The model for dealing with worry is to apply these three “most important things”, faith, hope & love.  In this post I’ll talk about the first of these, faith.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt had a great quote linking fear (doubts) with faith.  He said “The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith.”  FDR recognized that you have to have faith in order to have the strength inside to move forward past the challenges of today.

First, let me explain that I’m not talking about a faith in God.  While that is something that is important to me, that’s not what this blog is about.  I am talking about applying some Biblical priniciples in a very practical way to help you in your daily life.

So how does faith help you with worry?  Simply put, faith is a form of confidence.  To overcome fear, you need to have faith – fatih in yourself, your friends, your employer, your abilities, your plan…. whoever you need to rely on to get you through the tough time.

Take for example the time last year when I was unemployed.  I needed to have faith in several things:

  • Myself – I had to believe that I was capable of finding a job, and performing the duties of it when I did.
  • My friends – I had to believe that my network of friends and associates would come through and help me find employment opportunities.
  • My wife and family – I had to believe that they would support me no matter what happened.
  • My strategy – I had to believe that the job search strategy I had empoyed would work.

Francis Chan had this to say about fear and faith.  “Fear never wrote a symphony or poem, negotiated a peace treaty, or cured a disease. Fear never pulled a family out of poverty or a county out of bigotry. Fear never saved a marriage or a business. Courage did that. Faith did that. People who refused to consult or cower to their timidities did that. But fear itself? Fear herds us into a prison and slams the doors.”

Call it faith, courage, confidence… pick your word, the meaning is the same.  If you are going to face your worry head on, you have to figure out who and what you have faith in.  Then use that confidence to help you through the tough times.

Next, I’ll talk about hope, and how it is a necessary component in dealing with fear.



Social Media and the job hunt

Linked In and other social tools are changing the job hunting process in ways we never imagined.

Everyone knows that social media has impacted how we talk to people, find old friends and share information about our life. But nowhere have I seen it have a bigger impact on a single process than in the job search.

Gone are the days of printing up a bunch of resumes and sending them to every company in town. No sir. First, every resume is submitted online and it goes through an electronic screening process.

But that is just the tip of the iceberg. To get a job these days you have to network. And all of the social media tools come into play – Facebook, Linked In, Blogs, Twitter, mySpace, etc.

The most useful tool I’ve found is Linked In. It’s amazing how within minutes you can find someone who knows someone inside a particular organization. This is proving to be a powerful force, and the job hunting game will never be the same.